


It Will Be Enough

by Stormsong44



Category: Dark blue and moonlight
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23526568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormsong44/pseuds/Stormsong44
Summary: Pin Jun recalls the year he spent with Hai Qing in drifting memories, his pain almost dehabilitating.
Relationships: Hai Qing/Pin Jun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	It Will Be Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a Chinese bl web series called Dark Blue and Moonlight (from what I know it's not too popular)
> 
> I don't love this series just because of what the main characters do to other people- but I would also highly recommend because it's good and hits you in the feels (I cried b/c of this more than Uwma)
> 
> Also sorry if this is confusing, you have to watch it to get what happens and this was also written in like 30 min so...

There's always someone who you know your heart belongs to.

The knowing is sweeter than honey, softer than the finest silk. There's a lightness to it, as if one jump would let you soar off into the far reaches of shimmering space.

It's caring for someone, a soft caress of hair behind an ear, a loving smile, a brightness in the eyes.

It's tearing yourself apart to build up someone else, raw, bloody gouges in your soul, choking, burning, suffocating pain.

Pin Jun loves Hai Quig.  
He loves him with all of his being, all of his breath. He loves his warmth, his smile, his burdens. The line of his cheek, soft ends of hair, the slide of his palm.

His life is splatters of paint, soft blue, soup dumplings and a warm bed. A heart mended whole and loud echoes through tunnels. A loving sister. Happy friends. His life is achingly perfect until it isn't.

Happiness runs out sometimes.

It could feel like a year, five, ten. It could feel like a lifetime but soon enough you'll die and be born again. It hurts, when it stops. Crumbling, earth-shattering pain.

Love lasts forever, but happiness doesn't.

Hai Qing loves Pin Jun.  
He does. He's all smiles and laughs and comfort. Terribly beautiful and softly kind. Warm, sleepy, hands intertwined. 

There was grief and love and acceptance and it was all because of him, wasn't it? A pillar to catch you when you fall, wafting fumes of incense blown away with a single sigh.

He was love, warm soup and cool ice shavings. Condensed milk straight from the can. Always thoughtful, pure unselfishness.

But... one painting wasn't enough.

Pin Jun is flesh and blood, not charcoal and paint. He poses warm in the light, not matching the dark blue that splashes the canvas and paintings and pages of notebook paper.

The line of his throat was only set in paint once, dark eyes moulded to life. Soft blue trembled on his shadow, gently washing away all traces of midnight until inevitability.

Pin Jun has never wished so hard to be trapped.

Trapped in a photograph, a picture, a painting, not a postcard. Signed with a flourish, not a mild greeting.

Caught in a flash of white, ice cold where his heart never shatters. Where happiness never runs out. Where lifetimes are more than a single year.

But a lifetime isn't, here. His happiness is spent and he's dead. Burnt by his own flame, glowing until he caught fire. 

Pin Jun knows his heart belongs to Hai Qing forever.  
_Forever...and ever... and ever..._  
The tunnels echo.

For Hai Qing, forever was a year and the rest was painted in dark blue and moonlight, flashing shadows among the bright.

For Pin Jun it's shattering, splintering, broken, but eventually...  
it will be enough.


End file.
